Witty Words

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered from a real word. Some are terrifically innovative: 

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 
 
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 
 
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 
 
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
 
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 
 
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 
 
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 
 
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 
 
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 
 
12. Glibido: All talk and no action 
 
13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 
 
14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web 
 
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out . 
 
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 
 
And, the pick of the lot... 

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.